Gone Viral


“Who in their right mind watches what other people are doing on this fucking Facebook shit. People are taking hundreds of pictures of crap like food or pictures from their cars, and then you’ve got twats getting up and watching what their doing. They all need their heads tested”. 

An interesting perspective, you may be inclined to agree. But what was more amusing during my Father’s display of indignation was my Mother’s response (whom by this point had endured many of these debates, during her time home from work, recovering from a broken leg), to which she replied, “Oh, fuck off you miserable fucker. I can’t wait to go back to work, ill be clapping my hands”. Then even more amusing (although it should not be, but its kind of the norm in my parents house), was my father response in return, without a moment’s hesitation, he replied, “and I’ll be clapping my Arse”…

Now, besides your average Millennials, who have grown up with smart phones, tablets, or digital devices permanently attached to their ten digits, the concept of social networking is lost on many, and for some it is pure alien.

For those who are digitally and socially inclined, networks like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. can offer a range of benefits such as meeting new friends, keeping in touch with old ones; researching and business opportunities; it is even a great place to learn, share, and discover new things, including news and events.

However, to Prince (and many alike) Facebook and its such, are considered a beacon of exemplary stupidity, that do no favours for those who choose to relish in its futility, especially when drawing their attention to his ways of life, and disrupting his daily going’s on.

“My next-door neighbours mother approached me this morning to tell me that I had gone viral. I was blowing my nose at the time. I thought she was referring to that, so I responded by saying, yes dear, I shit myself this morning too. She laughed, and said, ‘no you’ve gone viral online, John’. Well, I said, you’ve lost me now.

Apparently my pictures are everywhere, I am all over the Internet; Facebook, The Journal online, and the local papers. Well, I had no idea, I said. She couldn’t believe it. She thought I was pulling her leg. ‘What? You didn’t know?’ She said. Listen, I responded, I don’t know what’s going on half the time. That boy of mine is up to all sorts. He’s down here all the time with that Camera; I don’t know what he does with the pictures. They could be anywhere by now. He doesn’t tell me anything. I’ve got people approaching me everywhere, telling me they’ve seen my photos on line. Only yesterday, some bastard passed me in a car shouting out the window, telling me that I was Prince… I can’t go to the shop these days without someone commenting about my photographs and informing me that I am famous. Viral… by fuck”.

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